I have read a lot of books that talk about not judging situations whether good or bad. I have heard sayings like “just let it be”, “what will be will be” and my personal favorite “what it is, it what it is”. While these philosophies sound pretty cool, I never really thought much about applying them to my actual everyday life. However, recently I had an experience that has kind of got me thinking a bit…
It was the day after one of those bad ice storms that hit New York this winter. I had spent over an hour and a half digging my car out and I was over the snow! On my way back from work I decided I would avoid getting stuck or doing any shoveling by parking in a garage. My wife wouldn’t be happy, but I thought it was well worth the $25. I pulled into a garage. As I was about to get out off the car I saw the attendant (kind of looked like the attendant who took Cam’s car on a joyride in Ferris Bueller!) he was waving his hands and saying in a loud voice “no, no ,all full, no more cars”. After hearing this I tried talking to the guy, but there was nothing that could be done. I got back in the car, drove away and of course now I was pissed!
Frustrated, I went looking for a regular spot. I drove around for 20 minutes before I could finally find one. And almost like clockwork, I got stuck pulling into the spot. I Was half way in and half way out. This is usually the time I start my slow deep breathes calming and relaxing me, not this time I was rounding annoyed and headed toward anger. To make matters worse, my wife had to go to work soon and I had to be with our daughter. I tried to shovel out and it got me nowhere, I tried to move my car using momentum, nada. I finally called my wife and told her to bring down my daughter because it looked as if I wasn’t going anywhere for a while.
My wife came downstairs with my daughter and her play shovel. Very cute, but now wasn’t the time. My neighbor Mike saw what was going on as he was walking his dog and volunteered to help. He gave me a few suggestions about how to steer the wheel to help me get out. It didn’t work. Mike then looked at me and said, ‘let me try”, within a minute Mike got me out of the spot! I was a little embarrassed, but Mike was cool. In fact he then told me he had an extra ticket to the Nets vs Spurs game at Barclays later in the evening and he wanted to know if I could go, “Hell yay I could go!” Turns out Mike had great seats, waiter service and the game turned out to be pretty good as the Nets won. (Don’t get it twisted I am a Knick fan all the way!)
That night when I was in bed and replaying the day’s events, it dawned on me that had I been able to park in the garage, I would have never seen Mike and therefore would have never gone to the game. A situation I was so fast to label bad, had actually been good given time. Was this what non-judgment was all about? Will good things happen if I don’t judge and let it be?